“I will never be satisfied”//Keriann//W&M

“You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. You forget yourself”

“You’re like me. I’m never satisfied”

“Is that right?”

“I have never been satisfied”

“Satisfied” is one of my favorite songs from Hamilton (which, if you haven’t listened through yet, I would highly recommend). It also hits on something everyone is familiar with: satisfaction. I find this to be an especially pertinent topic for our generation, with all the new ways people can attempt to satisfy their desire to be admired, loved, or earn the respect of others. However, the only way we will ever be truly and completely satisfied is through Jesus Christ himself.

I’m sure in this day and age that everyone has had the experience of ordering something online. You see the picture of the product that perks your interest, so you click on it for more details. You scroll through the display pictures and, subconsciously, start fantasizing what it would be like to own it. Once you place the order, a short burst of contentment washes over you. You go about your daily business, but the knowledge that it’s on its way puts a little more pep in your step. You eagerly await its arrival and every time you check the mail and it hasn’t arrived yet you’re secretly disappointed that it hasn’t come yet. Then, on that fateful day, you are finally holding the package, the package that will fulfill all your hopes and dreams (maybe a slight exaggeration). But what you find instead (or at least in my experience) is a muted sense of contentedness at best or frustrated disappointment at worst. You have what you wanted, but its effect doesn’t last long. It may or may not live up to your expectations, but either way you’re already over it and ready to move onto the next thing. We are in a never-ending quest for something that can quench our desires.

This mentality isn’t limited to materialistic tendencies either, it applies to all aspects of our lives. Lately, I have seen it play out in my own life quite often. Many of my friends are traveling internationally, whether it be for study abroad or vacation, or pursuing professional internships this summer. Furthermore, every time I check any kind of social media, I am bombarded with more engagement announcements, wedding photos, and posts about babies being born than ever before. Being surrounded by all these people who are growing so much professionally and/or personally, it is easy to find myself discontent with my present circumstances. Despite the fact that I know in my head that my work at this Christian summer camp is part of His plan for me and will bear fruit in His timing, it is easy struggle with feelings of insignificance. There are many aspects of myself with which I am dissatisfied. Appearance. Intelligence. Travel experience. Musical talent. Athletic ability. Chinese fluency. Not being as well-read as I’d like. Singleness. I could go on. Proverbs 14:30 says “envy rots the bones”, and I have found this to be true. When I am constantly dwelling on the things others have that I don’t, it feels like part of me starts to wither away on the inside. The abundant life Jesus speaks about in John 10:10 feels like a foreign concept to me.

Like the Samaritan woman at the well, we are trying to find satisfaction in the things of this world. We place our identities and worth in what we can do, what we have, who we are with, and our present circumstances. The thing is, we are always seeking what is “good” (or what we think is good) for us. But “good” isn’t good enough, it isn’t God. Good will quickly run out on us. It is far too temporary to satiate our thirst, to fill the hole that only a relationship with our creator is able to do. Ultimately, anything that is not Jesus himself will fail to satisfy us. He promises us we shall never thirst again and that what we will receive a spring welling up to eternal life (John 4:14) should we choose to accept what he has offered us, that is life with Him. He is the only one who can satisfy our eternal longing.

I’m not going to pretend I have this down and pat. I still find myself searching for worth and joy in the temporary, whether it be friendships, accomplishments, or experiences. However, I continue to remind myself of this truth, a truth I might not have internalized perfectly yet, but that doesn’t mean I should give up on pursuing it. Regardless, we must be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking that when we do receive the living water, that everything in our lives will miraculously fall into place. The famously misquoted Psalm 37:4 says “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” If I am delighting and, therefore, finding my whole satisfaction in Christ, then my desires will be His desires. This doesn’t mean that if I am acting within His will that everything will work out favorably for me or that my circumstances will change “for the better”. Often times His plans for our lives do not line up with our own. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that being satisfied equates to being comfortable. God doesn’t call us to be comfortable, he calls us to love him above all things and then to love each other and make disciples of all nations (which often times just seems impossible). I eagerly await the day that I can honestly proclaim satisfaction in him.

 

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Hello all! My name is Keriann and I am going to be a junior at the College of William and Mary this coming school year. I am majoring in Sociology and minoring in Marketing. My ideal job, if I had the talent or training for it, would to be a National Geographic photographer/photojournalist (or a semi-professional napper if that was a thing). This summer I am working at Camp Bennett which is a Christian stay-away camp. I enjoy learning about subcultures through YouTube videos, NPR tiny desk concerts, and living vicariously through other people’s Snapchats. Also, I make some pretty ok Spotify playlists and am willing to make one for your next life event, whether it be a wedding, a party, or your dog’s teeth cleaning (for free!).