How often do you wonder “what if?” What if you don’t pass a test? What if you say something that makes you sound silly? What if you were skinnier? What if you were dating that guy? What if you were studying something else in school?
I am guilty of doing this too. Sometimes it is motivated by envy of another person or frustration of the reality of my life. Other times I wonder “what if?” out of a fear to commit and miss out on something better. I used to think I would stop asking “what if” when I “grew up” and knew answers to the questions. Now I realize those questions just morph into other questions unless I ask the Lord to take my thoughts captive and help me. For example, I used ask, “what if I did ministry for a job instead of physical therapy?” Well, now I’m in ministry and on a hard day that “what if” question becomes “what if I was teaching instead of ministry?” I also used to wonder “what if I marry that guy?” Now I’m married and on days when I’m frustrated with Dan, I fight against wondering, “what if we weren’t married?”
I guess in all my babbling what I’m trying to say is there will ALWAYS be a “what if” and I think we miss what God has right in front of us when we’re daydreaming about something that is not real. I want to live in the moment. Rather than ask what if when I’m envious, I want to ask God to show me the beauty of where He has me. When things are difficult, instead of wondering if life would be easier in a different situation, I want to be a woman who perseveres and sees character and hope develop. And when fear of missing out on something better begins to creep into my mind, I want to trust in the Lord’s sovereignty to protect and guide me. For He has promised that I can’t flee from His presence and even in the outermost part of the sea, His hand with guide me and His right hand will comfort me.
We have such an awesome God. I may not always understand why I am where I am and doing what I am doing but I know I can trust God knows. He has showed Himself trustworthy over and over and over—especially when He fulfilled His promise to save me and give me eternal life. So I do not want to be a woman who wonders “what if” as if I could know better than God. I’d much rather be a woman who evaluates what is and asks the Lord to change what is if it is in His will. In the words of Justin Beiber, “But the grass ain’t always greener on the other side, It’s green where you water it”.