At 20–What I Wish I Had Known//Maggie & Heather

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Hello friends,

In light of Valentines day being justttt around the corner we[your Tidewater Cru staff ladies] wanted to share things we wished we had known in college about dating, relationship, love, and purity.  Today is day 1 of 3…enjoy!

[Maggie McNeely]When I was 20 I was in my first real relationship. I had “boyfriends” and guys I was interested in in middle school and high school but this was my first real boyfriend. And this is what I wish I had known:

I wish I had known that kisses didn’t mean he loved me.
I wish I had known that staying up past midnight talking to a guy is ALWAYS a bad idea(for me).
I wish I had known that just because we were both Christians didn’t mean it was a “Christ-centered” relationship.
I wish I had known how to have hard conversations when they were needed.
I wish I had known to let go of him rather than staying in an unhealthy relationship.
I wish I had known that depending on him for my worth and value would leave my heart shattered in pieces when we broke up.
I wish I had known that healing takes longer than you want it to and you shouldn’t force the process.
I wish I had known how important it was to have someone holding you accountable for boundaries in the relationship that we set up and crossed… instead of pushing my friends away.
I wish I had known how deeply loved I was by Jesus and how much healing he provided for me.
I wish I had known that being single didn’t mean there was something wrong or flawed about me.
I wish I had known not to settle just because I wanted someone to love and care for me.
I wish I had known that seasons of singleness are also a gift from the Lord.

I wish I had known all of those things, but I didn’t and because of that relationship I learned so much. I’m glad God used it to shape me more into the woman of God he wants me to be, and to teach me that my identity is in Christ who loves me deeply and knows me completely.

[Heather Persing] //forever Tidewater alumni staff:)

It’s easy to look back now and see a lot of ways I would do things differently, but I would say the one thing I wish I would’ve known and experienced back then was that Jesus really is the one who satisfies. I spent so much time and energy in college thinking, talking, and dreaming about relationships. We’re made for relationship so in some ways I think that was normal, but deep in my heart I believed I would finally be fulfilled when I was dating/engaged/married. The problem with that is I was always looking for the next thing to satisfy me. Once I was dating, I wanted to be engaged. After I got engaged, I couldn’t wait for marriage. Now that I’m married, there’s several other life stages that I can find myself believing will finally bring true life. It’s a cycle that never ends. This also doesn’t give much room to sacrifically love who God brings in your life. It becomes all about me and how my needs are being met instead of laying down my life for someone else. Marriage is great, and it’s brought a lot of joy into my life; however, Jesus calls us to something much more beautiful than even the best marriage–he calls us to himself. He is the only one who can truly give us what our hearts so desperately need and crave.

 

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10

 

 

//check back tomorrow for day 2 of 3//