As the New Year has come and gone, I have spent some time reflecting on 2015. Let me tell you, it was incredible. I got to be a witness to some amazing things that God has been doing on my campus at CNU and I feel like my relationship with Jesus has grown deeper than ever. Also, ending the year with Radiate was one of the most refreshing things I have ever experienced. After thinking about all of these things, I have found myself asking these questions about my year. Have I reflected the character of Jesus to everyone around me? Have I loved well? Has my life been about my neighbor rather than myself?
These questions are the biggest part of His will for my life. You can see this in the two greatest commandments laid out in Matthew 22:37-40. When I started to look at my life this past year with all of the great things that have happened, I sometimes feel as though I have seriously fallen short. There have been so many moments of falling into temptation, giving way to sin, and failing at being who God has called me to be. All right, all right… enough with the sob story. But don’t a lot of us find it so easy to reflect on the moments where we messed up? I all of a sudden become really honest about the struggles I faced when they are way back in 2015. But a lot of the time, those struggles were so hard because I was not being honest with God in those moments. I was not fully surrendering my heart to Him like he so rightfully deserves. I want to be a man of God who is honest with where he is really at, in the moments of strength AND weakness. Ok, if I’m going to start being really honest, that last sentence was painful to write. My culture and flesh is screaming “NOOOOO.” As a guy, I really don’t want people seeing me as “weak.” Everything about secular American culture despises weakness. We don’t want to admit that we are flawed and we strive to look like we have it all together. I find myself buying into it all the time. It always fails to succeed. But, I serve a God that calls me to come as I am. Broken, weak, and in need of rescue. I serve a God that takes my brokenness and turns it into something beautiful. That is so refreshing
In 2 Corinthians 12:9 Jesus says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” A moment where I really saw this verse come alive was at Radiate this past week. The days leading up to the conference were rough for me. I was experiencing a lot of temptation and my thoughts were not glorifying to God. As a leader in Cru, I didn’t want everyone around me to be brought down by my little issue going on. I went through the first 2 days all hunky dory and all was well, except my heart. During worship on that second night, the Bridge Band began playing the classic, “How He Loves.” The song was just like normal but then they changed the words to “We love YOU, Oh how we love YOU.” Those words hit me like a pile of bricks. I couldn’t bring myself to sing the words. How could I say I love God, but not be honest with Him about where I am? How could I stand next to my peers and act like I am totally fine when I am not? I turned to my good friend Tyler and began to tell him what was going on. In that moment when I finally turned to someone, I felt an overwhelming peace come over me. It was amazing. The release of guilt and shame was totally gone. Praise Jesus! It was something so small and simple, but I think it was a really cool moment where He was glorified in my life. A little “win-shot” if you know what I mean. God calls us to confess sin in 1 John 1:9 and thats what I did. It’s crazy what happens when we listen to Him haha! So as I go into this New Year, I want my prayers to be laced with these words, “God, I am weak. You are strong. I am broken and I am in need of rescue. I pray for honesty in front of you, myself, and with others. Lord may I surrender all that I am to you.” If you read this, my hope is that you will join me in a movement of honesty. When you are weak, tell God that you are weak. If you are feeling the weight of sin dragging you down, be honest with you friends about what is going on. Know that He is glorified in those moments. Lets go into this semester, and let God wreck our campuses with a Love they have never seen. It’s just like the old adage says, “Honesty is a really great policy”
Hey everyone! My name is Clark Johnson and I am a junior at CNU. I am so excited for what God is doing on my campus. I am a resident assistant, and I am co-president of my Cru chapter alongside the famous Laura Kate. I also recently picked up beat boxing and joined an a capella group. I like long walks on the beach?